Total Elevation Gain (ft): 1397.7
Weather: Sunny, Warm
Hillbilly Insults: 0
Roadkill: 11 (1 Bird, 4 Snakes, 3 chipmunks, 3 Unknown)
Bugs Swallowed: 0
Mean Dogs Chasing: 0
My last day of support and company with my family ended today, but not before we enjoyed a movie and the gluttonous orgy of stupidity that is Golden Corral. How does this swill trough make money?
I inhaled eight glorious yeast rolls with my two steaks, multiple sides of meat and assorted deserts. Thank you, thank you strip mall civilization! You have my gratitude for the bounty provided and about to be shat from wholesome American guts!
Our irresponsible binge was capped by my feral children exuberantly misbehaving. Felix threw a shoe at his sister like an angry jihadist and Camille started to bite her toenails. Katy mused about what proud parents we are as we sternly admonished the kids and laughed maniacally at each other. This dinner odyssey was meaningful in ways that few people can understand. I know now that my piecemeal multicultural family is fully assimilated in mainstream culture. Mission accomplished.
The nice thing about coming off the prairie to a city with a Wal-Mart is that I can usually find a decent bike shop. I met Jared at Epic Sports and he took loving care of the Fargo. She had been mothballed during my dalliance with the Colnago.
I needed a minor tune-up and my pedals swapped out. I've decided to go with my old Look pedals for the rest of the trip. Touring purists will make church lady, pinch-faced scowls at the bizarre hybrid style I've created by wearing racing cleats and shoes on the lumbering Fargo. It's just that the Scott shoes are so comfortable, I can't return to the Shimano SPD/Flat pedals. They were giving me unnecessary nerve damage. If I decide to stop and walk around somewhere, I'll just slip off the Scotts and pull my New Balance Minimus out the dry bag. Sorry Shimano, I need a big platform and your product felt like a red hot ball-peen hammer bashing my feet.
Jared took good care of everything and continued the streak of human kindness I've experienced since my departure from Astoria. He's a pretty fit looking mountain biker and warned us against eating at the "Alien Cafe." I thought it would be nice to take the kids there, but Jared's description made Chucky Cheese sound like Nobu by comparison.
I procrastinated in an air-conditioned movie theater waiting for the winds to die down after thr family left for Elk Point, SD and then onto Kansas City to visit friends. I watched Angelina Jolie's husband thwart zombie hoards. George Romero did it best 50 years ago. It's time to warehouse the undead trope for a few years.
Hit the road at 7:30 p.m. and after a bit of climbing rolled into the Hazelton park campsite in the dark. It was a perfect cool evening. I snuggled into my tent sleeping bag and tossed and turned. Gave up on sleep and watched the ignominious "Fast and Furious" on my iPhone. It was worse than I imagined and not worthy of the small screen.