Miles: 85.84
Total Elevation Gain (ft): 1862
Weather: Sunny, Hot
Hillbilly Insults: 0
Roadkill: 1 (Unknown)
Bugs Swallowed: 0
Mean Dogs Chasing: 3 (German Shepherd, 2 mutts)

Je suis fatigue.

SE Washington is an arid, unforgiving hotbox. It doesn't matter that the Columbia borders this spartan land mass, except to create annoying winds for cyclists.

Any majestic beauty was lost on me while I managed vital resources for living. I think I downed 12 liters of water today and a couple of five gallon drums of iced tea at stops.

The area supports Washington's vineyards and potato farming. The nice chaps above work for those evil SOBs at ConAgra which bought up the entire place for corporate farming. We met at the lone stop between the start and finish today. A lot of touring folks come through, so I left an entry in the cafe's guest book in Roosevelt, WA.

The area supports Washington's vineyards and potato farming. The nice chaps above work for those evil SOBs at ConAgra which bought up the entire place for corporate farming. We met at the lone stop between the start and finish today. A lot of touring folks come through, so I left an entry in the cafe's guest book in Roosevelt, WA.



06/06/2013 1:28am

Hey Brother,

it's good to see that you are doing well and putting in major work on the roads along the Columbia River.It also sounds like you are greatly benefiting from your experiences as a rider. Keep doing that thing you do and know that I will be tracking your moves daily. Thanks again for the call this evening.

Bountiful Be Thy Blessings!

Doug Novy
06/06/2013 8:28am

1. Two Nerds on a Tandem

Two nerds are riding along on a tandem, when suddenly, the one on the front slams on the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tires.

The one on the back says: "HEY! What are you doing that for!?"

The first nerd says, "My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit."

So the one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction.

Now it's the first guy's turn to wonder what's going on. "What are you doing?" he asks his friend.

"Look mate," says the rider in the back, "if you're going to do stupid stuff like that, I'm going home!!"

2.The other day on a ride, I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. Then along comes a man who was driving very slowly uphill toward me, honking his horn and shouting at me.

"PIG! PIG!!" he yelled. "PIG! PIG!!"

So I flipped him the finger and shouted back some things I dare not repeat as I buzzed by him.

Still thinking about this awful man and his shouting, I turned the corner and promptly collided with a pig.

3. Going Deaf

A tandem rider is stopped by a police car.

"What've I done, officer?" asks the rider.

"Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . ."

"Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

4. A Nerd and His New Bike

A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

The first nerd was stunned by his friend's sweet ride and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?"

The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"

The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

5. A Tough Climb on a Tandem

Jack and Jill have just climbed Le Alp de Huez, one of the steepest peaks in the Alps on their tandem.

"Phew, that was a tough climb" said Jill, leaning over, breathing hard. "That climb was so hard, and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it."

"Yeah, good thing I kept the brakes on," said Jack, "or we'd have slid all the way back down!"

6. The Hardest Part of Learning to Ride a Bike

Q. Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?

A. The pavement.

7. Problem Dog

"I've really had it with my dog," said the first guy to his neighbor. "He'll chase anyone on a bicycle"

"Hmmm, that is a problem," said the neighbor. "What are you thinking of doing about it?"

"Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!"

8. A Cyclist in Heaven

A very devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. First thing the cyclist asks is if there are bicycles in heaven.

"Sure," says St. Peter, "let me show you," and he leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.

"This is great," the cyclist says.

"It certainly is," says St. Peter. "You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes you've ever seen, and your personal masseuse will always available."

As they speak a blur streaks by them on the boards riding a gold plated bike.

"Wow!" the cyclist exclaims. "That guy was so fast that can only be Lance Armstrong!"

"No," says St. Peter, "that was God on the bike, he only thinks he's Lance".

9. The Pedestrian and the Cyclist

A pedestrian stepped off the curb and into the road without looking one day and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.

"You were really lucky there," said the cyclist.

"What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!" said the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head.

"Well, usually I drive a bus!" the cyclist replied.

10. Mark Twain's Wisdom on Cycling

"Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live."

Sgt. Domine (Ret)
06/06/2013 12:25pm

On this rainy D-Day, the kids and I watched Saving Private Ryan. They don't throw parades because it's easy.

06/06/2013 12:49pm

when things get tough, look for your Mecca. Then ride with a Ronald Flag in your helmet! Keep it up! xx

06/07/2013 6:57am

Jon, I hate to tell you this, but it seems you are getting disoriented and are heading back home. You live in Oregon and you are gong TO Washington.

Jonathan Leahey
06/07/2013 8:49am

There's a big river between the two states going East. Perhaps you've heard if it? Forced to cross it time to time along the way.

Yet, there are times when I'm disoriented, yes.

06/14/2013 6:38am

Hi Jon, Are you going to Helena? I once read a book about how the “1st Special Service Force” group of Canadians and Americans were sent there to train during WWII. They were known as the “Devil’s Brigade”. The official name of the group was designed so that the enemy would think they were an entertainment/moral unit. They were unbelievably tough. If you had landed at Normandy on D day, what would you have been concerned with? Staying alive? Defeating the enemy so they would stop trying to kill you? Well, when the Special Service Force landed on Normandy, they held horse races right there on the beach while fighting was still going on and in sight of the Germans, who thought they were CRAZY. While in Helena, the local boys had fights with them – something to do with Helena girls. I wonder if any of the old timers remember them.


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