Miles:  49.6

Total Elevation Gain (ft):  345.7

Weather: Sunny, Mild

Hillbilly Insults: 0

Roadkill: 44 (2 Possum, 1 Raccoon, 2 Unknown)

Bugs Swallowed: 0

Mean Dogs Chasing: 0

Animal Rescue: 0

My favorite thing about Canadians is their adorably lilting accents, even if they happen to be evil incarnate or find themselves in tremendous pain.  I've not experienced any unpleasantness whatsoever, but I imagine this idea to be true. 

The uber-friendly people I converse with along the coast of Lake Erie don't complain much, buy they do find three things annoying and they'll let you know "aboowt" it--the Québécois, tax amnesty for the First Nations and the perennial disappointment of Mapleleaf hockey. 

As to the whole dual-language (English and French) nightmare that afflicts the culture here, I told my acquaintances Peggy and Lynne, over a Tim Horton's coffee, "If English was good enough for Jesus, then by God it's good enough for me!"

I lifted my statement from Texas Governor Miriam Ferguson, spoken in reference to the use of bilingualism in Texas schools.  I figured it was roughly analogous. 

Picture
Peggy and Lynne at the Tim Hortons, Wallaceburg.

My ride was a flat hug of the coastline along the St. Clair river on my way to the Canadian coast of Lake Erie.  I took a ferry across from Marine City where I was hassled by U.S. Customs agents.  Their incredibly dumb questions reminded me that we are living in the age of the American Stasi. "Why do you need this type if credit card? Is this a weapon? (It was a small black mini pump.)

Picture
My Passport Card...a lighter option than the Full Monty.

After paying a buck to get across the water and happy I wasn't reamed by a cavity search, I rode a few pleasant miles and came upon Tim Hortons. It surely will be the first of hundreds on this stretch through Ontario. More ubiquitous than Dunkin Donuts is in the States, Timmy's can be relied upon 24/7 for mediocre coffee, mediocre pastry and middling WiFi. I love the place. 


A bit of background for those ignorant about this Canadian icon: Tim Horton's  is an multinational doughnut chain co-founded by Tim Horton, a Canadian Hockey player. He died when he lost control of his 1974 Pantera driving 120 mph under the influence of alcohol and pain killers.


The company has brilliantly managed to use it strict Canadian origin, massive franchise expansion, corporate sponsorships and shrewd marketing to make itself more iconic than McDonald's is in the U.S.  It's such a staple, it appears to me that 

Canadians make it their patriotic duty to patronize the place. 

Picture
St. Clair river.

Here's the bad news Canada.  Tim Horton's is not Canadian owned!  Just like we took the 13 Colonies in 1776-1778, us Yanks bought the corporation in 1995.  Tim Horton's is owned by Wendy’s.  Of course, this means that when I buy Tim Hortons, I'm being a patriotic American and a generous one to boot, since I'm injecting the once mighty dollar into a better economy.

Picture
Going really light now. Dumped all but one dry bag and handlebar mount.

I ride rural routes tomorrow, hoping to make it to the very Commonwealth sounding Port Stanley.

Picture
Once again, Michigan doesn't disappoint. Here's a glimpse of Marine City.
 


Comments

Doug Novy
07/26/2013 10:17am

You could write another entry entirely on the parallels between the Tim Horton franchise and the DeTomaso Pantera. A mediocre Italian supercar with a Ford V8. Quick trivia: between Tim Hortons and the DeTomaso Pantera, which one did Elvis Presley shoot when it wouldn't start?

Reply
Jonathan Leahey
07/26/2013 1:01pm

I just learnt that he shot it more than once! It was a gift to one of his lesser girlfriends, so he probably treated the car like he treated his women. Cause or effect?

Reply
Schatz
07/26/2013 1:15pm

In his defense, I heard Tim Horton wouldn't start because of injury.

Reply
Mr Furious
07/26/2013 1:42pm

Let's not open up a whole "Pantera's Box" on this topic.

Reply
debra wade
07/26/2013 7:53pm

enjoy your rural route. hope the weather is nice and mild and lay off the doughnuts. ...

Reply
Jonathan Leahey
07/26/2013 8:11pm

I NEED doughnuts. It's fuel.

Reply
Schatz
07/26/2013 8:59pm

Now I'm curious... What credit card were the government cronies concerned with? American Express? Because you're an American, dammit! United explorer visa? What, do they think just because you're on a bike you don't fly now and then?

Reply
Doug Novy
07/27/2013 8:30am

I was disappointed to learn Australia doesn't have an "Australian Express" card.

Reply
Dad
07/27/2013 11:54am

Detroit: “Abandon all hope ye who enter here”. It was destroyed by WLEs and will not recover because of WLEs. End of story.

I’m on the side of the Border Guards. A manual bicycle pump can indeed be converted to a weapon. Consider my own personal experiences - At times I would zig-zag several miles to the supermarkets in Olathe and slowly return with the food lost in the Super Time Commuter Rush, always I wore a top coat not only to protect against deadly assaults especially the TABIN NEEDLE but also I would put much of the food I purchased under my undershirt like I did apples and pears as a boy from the shopping cart at the back of the supermarket. Even with deadly gangster government assassins circling the parking field sneering and watching me on dashboard and wristwatch eyesight television.

Reply
Jonathan Leahey
07/27/2013 1:33pm

Dad, you have transformed completely. The newest reincarnation of Francis Dec.

Reply
Adam Crane
07/27/2013 10:42pm

Enjoying all the comments and following you along Jon. You have inspired me to get on the bike (yes the same one I bought from your buddy down in the River Market years ago!) but not as long as a ride you are doing!

Reply
Jonathan Leahey
07/27/2013 11:03pm

Bravo Adam! The distance is relative. Just get out there and have fun. Thanks for your thoughts. Be well and be in touch.

Reply



Leave a Reply